Deep Thoughts from the Metamorphosis Factory

Lovelies,

I haven't felt like creating this month.

Before the fire, I was on fire. I mean creatively I was on fire. I mean before the fire, I was creating a lot.

And thanks goodness I was! I'm in the midst of an immense project. One that has a TIMELINE. One that has a rapidly approaching alleged FINISH LINE. Before the fire, I kept saying: I don't know how I'm possibly creating this much, but we NEED me to be creating this much, so NOBODY MOVE until this thing is over!

And in truth, creating like whoa is not uncommon for me. I've been wildly creative for a good long while now.

So yeah, it's a very different experience of myself to suddenly not create anything.

I'm not losing my mind about it. I'm not doing the whole, "Will I ever create again?" routine. I've been around the block. I know by now to save the drama for the page.

But I've been curious. 

It's felt like a channel closed. And this concerned me because I don't believe in that. 

So I asked myself what I do believe. And I remembered: I believe when we aren't creating it's because some aspect of our creative terrain needs tending. In my case, that would have to be rest. Rest to sort and tag a backlog of ash-stained images. Rest to adjust to this tidal shift from giving help to receiving help. Rest to equal parts grieve and celebrate how not just my physical life but my social life has metaphorphosized within three weeks. 

I will not deny I need rest. 

But something else occurred to me in the past few days. I noticed that really I'm creating as much as ever. I'm creating the stubborn resolve to approach each day with grace. I'm creating meaning, deep spirit-sung meaning, from not just the fire but every swerving interaction since. And now, as of two days ago, I've moved, and here I begin the process of creating a new home.

So yeah. It's not that I'm not creating. It's just I don't want to create anything ELSE right now. 

Maybe we're all always creating. Maybe creativity it's never an issue of creating more or less, but simply what.

There you go, some deep thoughts from the metamorphosis department.

Wishing you joy with WHATEVER you are creating this month,

Rachel